Mr Darcy and The Misconceptions About Introverts

Okay, I admit, I’m an introvert. Like other introverts, I hate going to parties, I wallflower if I ever attend one and I just love, love staying at home, by myself. And this often gives my family members and friends the misconception that I’m antisocial. That I’m a misanthropist like Heathcliff and Rochester.

I beg to disagree. I’m rather like Mr Darcy, the famous introvert who was mistaken as a proud, antisocial, conceited, supercilious man.

Okay, he was a bit proud and supercilious and he did admit it at the end to Elizabeth. But along with Elizabeth and except for Mrs Gardiner, everyone thought him so.

But he wasn’t. Not entirely for sure. According to Mrs Gardiner, he was rather an asocial man.

Now, there’s a difference between antisocial and asocial.


In the above pic (collected from an awesome page in Facebook called “Introvert Problems”), the difference between antisocial and asocial is shown. And it’s 100% true. Like the last line, I’m also tired of being called as antisocial.

Mr Darcy was an asocial. He hated going to parties and even when he did go, he’d either wallflower himself or mingle with the ones he knew and/or came with. He even said so in the book, when both he and Elizabeth were visiting Lady Catherine de Burgh. His dialogue was,

“I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers.”

That’s how introverts are.


That’s terrifying. Even for me. Whenever I go to a new, unknown place and don’t know what to do, I kick myself violently inside about asking strangers for help. Not because “stranger danger” but because, I don’t know, it’s just terrifying. Extroverts would be like, “What’s so terrifying about asking people for help? They won’t eat you up!”

That’s not why. Maybe it’s because we’re interacting with someone we dunno. And whenever we’re at a new place or with someone new, we get all nervous and frightened inside.

Another thing about introverts is this:


If we are going to talk to someone we don’t know but must talk to, say in an interview or to a crush, we do this. We rehearse and rehearse about what we’re going to say to them. We feel pleased when it goes how we pictured it to be. We wanna kill ourselves when it doesn’t.


Poor Mr Darcy!

This is how we introverts feel whenever something we plan doesn’t go that way.

And Darcy was misunderstood all the time. Everyone thought he was heartless when they heard Wickham’s false story about Darcy’s cruelty to him. They also went as far as to believe that he was jealous of Wickham, which he obviously was not.

Everyone also wondered how Darcy and Bingley were even best of friends. Bingley was this ray of sunshine while Darcy was gloomy twilight or new moon (Oops! Too much of the Twilight Saga, lol). But seriously, everyone in Meryton and Longbourn loathed him. And it was Elizabeth’s misconception that was first broken. First with his letter to her. Then the long account of how he was “the best employer ever” by his housekeeper.

Slowly everyone saw what a rough diamond he was. He only shunned those who were stupid and ridiculous like Mrs Bennett and Lydia and Mrs Bennett’s sister. He cordially invited Mr and Mrs Gardiner, though to better himself and to show Elizabeth how he wasn’t just a rich gentleman.

And I completely agree with what Mrs Gardiner first said about Mr Darcy.

“His behaviour to us has, in every respect, been as pleasing as when we were in Derbyshire. His understanding and opinions all please me; he wants nothing but a little more liveliness, and that, if he marry prudently, his wife may teach him.”

Which is what happened later.

So if you wanna understand an introvert, these are what we are:






And if you wanna love an introvert, do these things:


Hopefully that was understandable for all the extroverts and ambiverts out there.

Until then, tata!

P.S. I wanna acknowledge how tremendously the pics from above, collected from Facebook page, “Introvert Problems”, contributed to my post. Thank you, ☺☺☺


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